Counting down...

It's 3 days and counting... am at Borders Starbucks now. Need to chill out. Never a patient person. Always want to get what I want YESTERDAY. Feeling unbalanced. Unsure. Insecured. I think some of this rubbed off telepahically to my folks, they decided to not overnight here to catch their flight out tomorrow morning, will use a cab from BM instead and pay rm140. I dont know if I said anything wrong. But then I have been a bit unstable emotionally since 2 days back.

Did a urine test 2 days back and was negative. Wham! Big low. I sat at the bathroom step and willed the strip to show the second line. I read the instruction paper backward. Then only I saw that the test (even though at the box said could test anytime of the day even before period is due) would work only 3days before period is due. Wham! Not so low.

But now it's 3days and counting. I found myself not daring to do the urine test.

I tell myself it takes time. Let it be. I bought a packet of soil for my 2 fu-kui hua on the balcony last weekend and within 2 days, so many new shoots showed up with their appreciation. I take comfort in that... at least it proves I know a little about nurturing life...