thanks to Michelle Carrera for sharing this piece :)
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female....
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
memorable line from my recent read
Book title: Bad Chili (1997)
Author: Joe R Lansdale
pg 23:
"...Leonard was trying to tell me when the squirrel got after us... He really wanted to talk. I mean, he's seriously frustrated. Other day in the doctor's office he threatened to kick this little brat kid's nasty ass."
"From what I've seen in the cop business, there's some kid's nasty asses I'd like to kick."
"This wasn't a juvenile. This was a kid-style kid."
"Advantage there is you don't have to lift your foot so high."
Author: Joe R Lansdale
pg 23:
"...Leonard was trying to tell me when the squirrel got after us... He really wanted to talk. I mean, he's seriously frustrated. Other day in the doctor's office he threatened to kick this little brat kid's nasty ass."
"From what I've seen in the cop business, there's some kid's nasty asses I'd like to kick."
"This wasn't a juvenile. This was a kid-style kid."
"Advantage there is you don't have to lift your foot so high."
a sensible Doctor
tks Victoria!! :)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying you extend the life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have one body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they are permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying you extend the life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have one body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they are permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
Monday, February 1, 2010
to the Women!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning, the devil says, "OH CRAP, SHE'S UP!"
Friday, January 29, 2010
let's walk Together...
we got home today with a cooler box... something special in it that we hope will bring us a step closer to parenthood.
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